Etiquette definition. What is etiquette? Types of etiquette

Opening 08.01.2020
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In modern society in recent times they often began to talk about the rules of etiquette. What is this concept? Where did it originate? What are its features and types? It is about etiquette and its importance in society that will be discussed in the article.

The origin of the concept and its meaning

The main types of etiquette are: courtier, diplomatic, military, general. Most of the rules coincide, but the diplomatic is of great importance, since a deviation from its norms can harm the prestige of the country and complicate its relations with other states.

The rules of conduct are established in many spheres of human life, and depending on them, etiquette is divided into:

  • business;
  • speech;
  • dining room;
  • universal;
  • religious;
  • professional;
  • wedding;
  • festive and so on.

General rules of etiquette in specific situations

Greeting is the very first and main rule of behavior of a cultured person, since ancient times it has been a criterion for a person's upbringing. The world has celebrated the Day of Greetings for more than 40 years.

The second main rule of etiquette is mastering the culture of communication. Her skills and ability to conduct a conversation allow you to achieve what you want and conduct a competent and polite dialogue with people.

Currently, telephone conversations are the most common form of communication among the population, therefore great importance in society, telephone etiquette plays, or the ability to conduct this kind of conversation. It is customary to clearly state your thoughts in a telephone conversation, to be able to stop in time in order to give an opportunity to speak to the interlocutor. Some companies provide special training for employees in the ability to conduct telephone conversations.

Good manners are the main component of cultural communication, some of them are taught to us from childhood, and the rest we master already in everyday adult life.

The essence of etiquette and its importance in society

From a practical point of view, the importance of etiquette is that it allows people to use forms of politeness to communicate with other people.

Of great importance in communication is the appearance of a person, the ability to behave correctly in in public places, away, on holidays.

The manner of speaking and the ability to tactfully conduct a conversation are of no small importance. To be a good interlocutor, you need to know what you are talking about, to be able to express your thoughts in such a way that they are interesting for the interlocutor.

You need to be able to manage your negative emotions and negative moods. According to the rules of etiquette, the most the best way defeating negativity is a human smile.

Society values \u200b\u200bthe ability to listen to the interlocutor, attention and attentiveness, the ability to come to the rescue in time and provide a service to those who need it.

By the behavior of a person, his skill and style of communication with other people, one can easily determine the level of his upbringing.

So what is etiquette? This is a set of generally accepted rules and manners of behavior in society, as well as a culture of actions. The established rules of communication and behavior of people reflect their way of life, living conditions, customs, therefore etiquette is also the national culture of the state.

Everyone knows that there are certain rules in society that are not customary to break. This can be a form of dress, manner of speaking, rules of conduct. Many unknowingly adhere to the rules of etiquette. What is etiquette, and what are its varieties?

Definition

The word "etiquette" came from the French language and means a set of rules that regulate the behavior and appearance of a person in a particular society. These unspoken rules are customarily observed not only in society, but also in everyday life.

Etiquette combines the following rules:

  • demeanor;
  • the form of speech;
  • dress code;
  • a certain degree of politeness.

Compliance with basic rules allows strangers to find a common language. What types of etiquette are there? Let's consider each of them in more detail.

Speech etiquette

This view etiquette combines the requirements for human speech in certain situations. It clearly regulates the degree of politeness of a person, as well as gestures, the permissibility of certain statements.

The speech type of etiquette has the following features:

In addition, in the speech form of etiquette, it is important to clearly convey the idea to the interlocutor. Depending on the situation, you need to be able to summarize the information and fill it with details.

Business Etiquette

This type of etiquette clearly regulates human behavior in a work environment. In addition, it falls into several categories:

  • boss-subordinate relationship;
  • relationships between colleagues of the same level;
  • relationships with business partners.

Business etiquette is based on mutual courtesy, benevolence, and attention.

Entering an already established team, you should pay attention to the already established communication habits. The rules of business etiquette are based on these observations. For example, the appeal between colleagues can be "you", which indicates a relaxed atmosphere, or "you", which indicates mutual respect. In addition, there are stereotypes of addressing people - "ladies", "gentlemen", "colleagues".

When business negotiations with a representative of another culture, it is important to familiarize yourself with the rules of etiquette of the opponent's country. Thus, an interest is expressed not only in the culture of the country, but also in the continuation of business relations with a person.

Behavior is not only important in business etiquettebut also the appearance. It is not for nothing that many companies have adopted a strict dress code. However, even if there is none, it is not customary to show up for work in shorts, overly short skirts, or T-shirts with bare shoulders.

Table etiquette

The rules of conduct at the table differ depending on the level of relations between the company of people, as well as on the level of the event. This type of etiquette provides for the following rules:


Conversation at the table should be casual, so you should avoid topics that can embroil diners or cause heated arguments. In addition, it is important to pay sufficient attention to everyone present and not turn your own speech into a monologue. It is important to be able to listen carefully to the interlocutor.

Festive etiquette

Despite the fact that certain standards of decency must be observed on a daily basis, there is a festive type of etiquette, the rules of which are also important. This type of norms regulates behavior in society at important events, as well as when visiting a theater, while receiving guests.

  1. Clothing should be appropriate for the occasion. For example, it is inappropriate to wear a formal evening dress for a modest family celebration.
  2. It is customary to refer to strangers as "you", while a woman can be the first to afford the transition to "you".
  3. In public places, such as the theater, the Philharmonic, it is not customary to eat and talk during the performance.
  4. When participating in a festive dinner, it is important to thank the hosts of the evening for the delicious food and good company.
  5. If you need to leave the holiday earlier, it is important to warn about this in advance, otherwise there is a risk of being branded as an uncultured person.
  6. It is unacceptable for the host of the evening or the hero of the occasion to insist that guests quickly empty their glasses and plates.
  7. Good form rules suggest that the hosts should mitigate conflict situations that may arise during the celebration.

In addition, it is very important not to be late, this rule applies to any special events, friendly and business meetings.

Religious etiquette

The vast majority of people are religious to one degree or another. Most often, this consists in visiting the temple on significant holidays. Since Orthodox Christianity is most widespread in Russia, church attendance is also regulated by some rules:

  1. It is important to be quiet during the service, it is forbidden to talk.
  2. A woman cannot be in the temple with her head uncovered, while a man, on the contrary, takes off his headdress. It is also forbidden for a woman to wear a skirt above the knee or trousers. Bright clothes are inappropriate.
  3. It is customary to be baptized three times before entering and exiting the church.
  4. In a conversation with priests, it is important to mention the rank or name, for example, "Father Vladimir", "Father Deacon", "Father Superior".
  5. When performing church rituals, it is important to do whatever the priest says.
  6. Prayers are said quietly, looking at the image.

In most cases, it is enough for not too religious people to behave modestly and politely both in communication with clergymen and with parishioners. If it is necessary to conduct any religious sacrament (baptism, wedding), you must first consult with a clergyman in order to observe all traditions.

Everyday etiquette

Types of modern etiquette are impossible without everyday life, since it is this set of unspoken rules that is observed in our life, in communication with acquaintances and strangers, in public places. A few common rules that most people follow:


Everyday kind of etiquette involves treating both acquaintances and strangers with courtesy. Correct handling is aimed at achieving mutual understanding between people. At the same time, there are three types of communication - official, unofficial, impersonal. The latter type is used in everyday address to unknown people, for example, "let me go through" or "sorry, do not tell me how to get through."

Professional etiquette

The main types of etiquette include professional, it is a set of rules and regulations that are usually observed in professional activity... Some types of activities require careful observance of these rules, as society makes them more demanding. These professions include teachers, doctors, educators, service personnel.

People of these professions must be restrained in emotions, benevolent, polite, patient, in addition, they must have a culture of speech and have a proper appearance. In addition, this type of etiquette and the concept of etiquette in this field of activity take into account the moral values \u200b\u200bof society.

Wedding etiquette

A wedding is undoubtedly an exciting moment in the life of every person, regardless of whether it is a newlyweds or an invited party. This type of etiquette, the rules of which are mandatory, is aimed at avoiding awkward moments that may arise during the celebration. Here are some of the most common ones:


It should be remembered that this is a bright and memorable day for a young family, so the behavior should not be defiant. It is also recommended not to consume too much alcohol.

Military etiquette

The rules of conduct among the military are clearly regulated from etiquette appearance to the norms of communication. Military etiquette is based on army morality and values. In communication, a lot of formal appeals are used, depending on the service position of the serviceman. Politeness and brevity are encouraged.

The appearance of a soldier in service is clearly prescribed by the charter. This applies not only to the form of clothing, but also to uniforms. A commander of any rank should be an example to his subordinates, therefore, you should especially carefully monitor the purity of speech, demeanor and appearance.

Court etiquette

Today, some countries still have a monarchical form of government. At the same time, all members of the royal family, as well as invited guests, must observe the rules of court etiquette. It is one of the strictest, so it is important to follow everything, even the most insignificant rules:

  1. You can not touch the members of the royal family only if the royal personage was the first to reach out to greet.
  2. Etiquette does not allow titled persons to appear in society in an unsightly way.
  3. The manner of speaking should be emphatically polite and respectful.
  4. Modesty in both dress and demeanor is encouraged.

Court etiquette has existed since the time when monarchical power appeared. At the same time, over time, it transforms, the old rules become irrelevant, and new norms appear instead.

Telephone etiquette

Today, about 50% of important business conversations take place over the phone. Thanks to this, etiquette appeared telephone conversation, which consists of the following points:


It is very important to use silent mode mobile phonewhile in the cinema, theater and other similar public places.

Email etiquette

This type of rules of decency has recently entered everyday life. However, when composing and sending an e-mail, you should be polite to the addressee and state the essence of the message concisely and clearly.

All types of etiquette and their characteristics are aimed at making the interlocutors understand each other, as well as at reducing the risk of a conflict situation. It is important to understand what kind of society you are in in order to correctly apply the knowledge gained about the rules of etiquette.

Good manners one of critical indicators educated, cultured person. From early childhood, we are taught certain behaviors. To a cultured person it is necessary to constantly follow the norms of behavior fixed in society follow etiquette.Knowledge and compliance with etiquetteallows you to feel confident and free in any society.

The word "etiquette"came to the Russian language from French in the 18th century, when the court life of an absolute monarchy was taking shape and broad political and cultural ties between Russia and other states were established.

Etiquette (French. etiquette) a set of rules of conduct, treatment, adopted in certain social circles (at the courts of monarchs, in diplomatic circles, etc.). Usually, etiquette reflects the form of behavior, treatment, the rules of courtesy adopted in a given society, inherent in a particular tradition. Etiquette can serve as an indicator of the values \u200b\u200bof different historical eras.

At an early age, when parents teach their child to say hello, say thank you, ask for forgiveness for pranks, learning takes place basic formulas of speech etiquette.

it is a system of rules of speech behavior, norms of using language means in certain conditions... Etiquette of verbal communication plays an important role for the successful activity of a person in society, his personal and professional growth, building strong family and friendships. To master the etiquette of verbal communication, knowledge from various humanitarian areas is required: linguistics, history, cultural studies, psychology. For a more successful development of cultural communication skills, they use such a concept as speech etiquette formulas.

In everyday life, we constantly communicate with people. Any communication process consists of certain stages:

  • start of conversation (greeting / introduction);
  • main part, conversation;
  • the final part of the conversation.

Each stage of communication is accompanied by certain cliches, traditional words and fixed expressions formulasami speech etiquette... These formulas exist in the language ready-made and are provided for all occasions.

To the formulas of speech etiquetteinclude words of courtesy (sorry thank you please), greetings and goodbyes (hello, greetings, goodbye), appeal (you, you ladies and gentlemen)... Greetings came to us from the west: good evening good afternoon good morning, and from European languages \u200b\u200b- goodbyes: all the best, all the best.

The sphere of speech etiquette includes ways of expressing joy, sympathy, grief, guilt, accepted in a given culture. For example, in some countries it is considered indecent to complain about difficulties and problems, while in others it is unacceptable to talk about your achievements and successes. The range of topics for conversation differs in different cultures.

In the narrow sense of the word speech etiquette can be defined as a system of linguistic means in which etiquette relations are manifested. Elements and formulas of this system can be implemented at different language levels:

At the level of vocabulary and phraseology:special words, stable expressions, forms of appeal (thanks, sorry, hello comrades, etc.)

At the grammatical level:using plurals and interrogative sentences instead of imperatives for courtesy (You won't tell me how to get through ...)

At the stylistic level:maintaining the qualities of good speech (correctness, accuracy, richness, relevance, etc.)

At the intonation level:using a calm intonation even when expressing demands, discontent, irritation.

At the orthoepy level: using full forms of words: s hello instead of hello, please, instead of please, etc.

Organizational and communicativelevel: listen carefully and do not interrupt, do not interfere in someone else's conversation.

Speech etiquette formulascharacteristic of both literary and colloquial, and rather reduced (slang) style. The choice of one or another formula of speech etiquette depends mainly on the communication situation. Indeed, the conversation and manner of communication can vary significantly depending on: the personality of the interlocutors, the place of communication, the topic of conversation, time, motive and goals.

The place of communication may require participants in the conversation to comply certain rules speech etiquette set specifically for the selected place. Communication at a business meeting, secular dinner, in the theater will be different from the behavior at a youth party, in the restroom, etc.

Depends on the participants in the conversation. The personality of the interlocutors primarily affects the form of address: you or you. The form you indicates the informal nature of communication, You respect and great formality in the conversation.

Depending on the topic of conversation, time, motive or purpose of communication, we use different conversational techniques.

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Table of contents 2

Introduction 3
1. Etiquette concept 6
2. Components of etiquette 8
3. Types of etiquette 14
Conclusion 23
List of sources used 24

Introduction.
Etiquette, the rules of decency, manners - all this, it would seem, is well known to us from childhood. We are taught to be polite and tactful in communication, to have a neat appearance, to behave aesthetically at the table, to use cutlery with confidence, etc. But, as G. Hegel once wrote, “the familiar is not yet known,” and this can be fully attributed to etiquette.
Public interest in etiquette culture, the desire to master good manners not only does not fade, but even in recent years is increasing (at least among our compatriots)
Social life has become more complicated over the past half century, its rhythm has accelerated. In rapidly growing cities, millions of people live side by side in relatively small areas. Each meets daily with hundreds or even thousands of other people. With them, he goes to work, works at an enterprise, stands in line at the box office of a cinema or a stadium, rests in a friendly company. People come into contact with each other in a wide variety of moral and psychological situations. The question of how to act, how to behave and how to relate to the behavior of another in this or that case, becomes especially acute due to the enormous diversity of characters, opinions, views, aesthetic tastes. To find the right solution that allows you to preserve your dignity, your beliefs and not offend another person, you need to take into account many circumstances, show tact, restraint, persistence, a desire to understand the interlocutor.
For many centuries of the existence of human culture, a number of rules of behavior have been developed that promote mutual understanding, allowing to avoid unnecessary conflicts, tension in relationships. These rules are sometimes called the rules of good manners, or rules of etiquette. The rules of conduct have cultural and historical characteristics. Differences in the assessment of accuracy and punctuality are interesting. The British and Americans, for example, are used to appreciating time and counting it several days in advance. Being ten minutes late for lunch is considered unacceptable. In Greece, on the other hand, it is even indecent to come to dinner at the exactly appointed time: the owner may think that you have come only to eat. Due to the deepening of contacts between peoples, cultural differences are gradually disappearing. But now they are still very large. Therefore, getting into an unfamiliar country, you should adhere to the courtesy rules that are accepted there. With the change in living conditions, with the growth of education and culture, some moral norms and rules of politeness become obsolete, giving way to new ones. That which was considered indecent becomes generally accepted. But times are changing, and even hardened conservatives are forced to give in to the demands of life.
Etiquette is a tacit language with which you can say a lot and understand a lot if you can see. Etiquette cannot be replaced with words. When talking with a foreigner, it is sometimes difficult to explain how you feel about him and what he says. But if you own etiquette, your silence, gestures, intonation will be more eloquent than words. By the external manner of staying abroad, they judge not only a person, but also the country he represents.
Theoretical thought rarely refers to the phenomenon of etiquette, therefore, serious analytical articles and monographs devoted to a systemic, holistic scientific research etiquette, practically none. Sociologists, ethicists, ethnographers define the phenomenon of etiquette in different ways. Some emphasize that this is a necessary component of communication, while others study the ethnic characteristics of etiquette forms of behavior, often dissolving etiquette in rituals and ceremonies. Still others consider it in the system of moral requirements as a group of the most simple, elementary norms. At the same time, practically each of the definitions usually given to etiquette ("culture of communication", "a set of norms and standards of behavior", "elementary rules of human society", "aesthetics of behavior", etc.) reveals only one of the sides. complex and controversial phenomenon. As a result, we have very vague and vague ideas about etiquette. Therefore, the study of etiquette in the system of sociocultural interactions seems to be an urgent and promising task.

1. The concept of etiquette.
Ethics? T (from fr. etiquette - label, inscription) - norms and rules reflecting ideas about the proper behavior of people in society. AT modern form and the meaning of the word was first used at the court of the king of FranceLouis XIV - the guests were given cards (labels) describing how they should hold; although certain sets of norms and rules of behavior have existed since ancient times.
Traditionally, it is believed that the ancestral countries of etiquette are England and France, but the way of life in these countries at that time was such that in these harsh and rough conditions a person could not improve in his spiritual and moral endeavors. Certain moral rules and manners of behavior originated around the XIV century in Italy, where already at that time the social essence and culture of the individual began to come out on top. In Russia, one of the first codes of conduct is considered to be "domostroy" (XVI century)
The established norms of morality are the result of a long-term process of the formation of relationships between people. Without observance of these norms, political, economic, and cultural relations are impossible, since one cannot exist without respecting each other, without imposing certain restrictions on oneself.
Modern etiquette inherits the customs of almost all peoples from the hoary antiquity to the present day. Basically, these rules of behavior are universal, since they are observed not only by representatives of a given society, but also by representatives of the most diverse socio-political systems that exist in modern world... The peoples of each country make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, due to the social system of the country, the specifics of its historical structure, national traditions and customs.
The norms of etiquette, in contrast to the norms of morality, are conditional; they have the character of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. Every cultured person should not only know and observe the basic norms of etiquette, but also understand the need for certain rules and relationships. Manners largely reflect the inner culture of a person, his moral and intellectual qualities. The ability to behave correctly in society is very important: it facilitates the establishment of contacts, promotes mutual understanding, creates good, stable relationships.
It should be noted that a tactful and well-mannered person behaves in accordance with the norms of etiquette not only at official ceremonies, but also at home. Genuine politeness, which is based on benevolence, is conditioned by an act, a sense of proportion, suggesting what can and cannot be done under certain circumstances. Such a person will never violate public order, neither by word nor deed will not offend another, will not offend his dignity.
Unfortunately, there are people with a double standard of behavior: one in public, the other at home. At work, with acquaintances and friends, they are polite, helpful, and at home they do not stand on ceremony with relatives, are rude and not tactful. This speaks of a person's low culture and poor upbringing.
Modern etiquette regulates the behavior of people in everyday life, at work, in public places and on the street, at a party and at various kinds of official events - receptions, ceremonies, negotiations.
Etiquette not only directs its efforts at integration, at the interaction of people, but, first of all, emphasizes their social-status and communicative differences (gender, age, social status, degree of acquaintance, kinship, etc.), accurately indicating to everyone his place in public hierarchy and defining a set of "permissible - unacceptable" ("decent - indecent") actions in accordance with this status position of a person. In this regard, the paradox of etiquette lies in the fact that it is both a means of communication and a means of separating people. Moreover, etiquette ensures integration primarily within a certain social group (for example, the nobility), taking shape in the form of a subculture of certain social groups, strata; and at the same time, etiquette allows this group to outwardly separate from all others, giving the representative of this group special distinctive features - signs of etiquette behavior (a special manner of talking, greeting a friend, eating, expressing emotions, gesturing, etc.). It, as it were, creates the possibility of communication (integration) "with friends" and separation (differentiation) "with others." In this sense, etiquette really is a "label", "label" in its original meaning
So, etiquette is a very large and important part of universal human culture, morality, morality, developed over many centuries of life by all peoples in accordance with their ideas about good, justice, humanity - in the field of moral culture and beauty, order, improvement, household expediency - in the field of material culture.

2. Components of etiquette.
Politeness.
You can and should be polite always and everywhere: at work and at home in the family, with friends and with subordinates. True politeness can only be benevolent, since it is one of the manifestations of sincere, disinterested benevolence towards all other people with whom a person has to meet. With many acquaintances in everyday life, politeness can turn into friendship, but organic benevolence towards people in general is an obligatory base of politeness. A true culture of behavior is where a person's actions in all situations, their content and external manifestation follow from moral principles morality and correspond to them.
One of the main elements of politeness is the ability to remember names. Elementary rules of behavior also oblige to greet a person. But this does not mean at all the most sincere disposition towards him. Otherwise, such a seemingly insignificant fact as ignoring the greeting can cause an undesirable, psychologically unhealthy environment in the team, and in the person himself - a state of anxiety and injured pride. In addition, one should not forget about the meaning of positive and negative emotions that arise as a result of various relationships between people.
Tactfulness and sensitivity.
There is another trait of a person's character, which is so closely adjacent to politeness that sometimes it is simply difficult to distinguish between them, but still it has its own distinctive properties. This is tact.
If the rules of politeness can be mechanically memorized, memorized, and they become a good habit of a person, as they say, his second nature, then with tact, tact, everything is much more complicated. A sense of tact presupposes a person's understanding of everything that can cause trouble, pain, annoyance to another. This is the ability to understand the needs and experiences of another, the ability to behave without hurting the dignity and pride of others.
In what life situations does this find application?
A well-bred person knows how to listen to his interlocutor. And if he is bored, he will never show it, patiently listen to the end, or, in any case, he will find a polite means to change the topic of the conversation. In a conversation, you should not speak louder than your interlocutor, get annoyed in an argument. It is tactless to make comments in the course of a conversation, to interfere in someone else's conversation without an invitation, to conduct it in a language that the rest of those present do not understand. For the same reason, they do not speak in a whisper in front of others. But if you still need to say something in secret to your interlocutor, you should leave this conversation until a more convenient time or a convenient environment.
It happens that the presence of a person is not very desirable at the moment. A tactful person will always feel this and will never interfere: importunity is alien to him.
Do not give unsolicited advice to people who are not familiar enough or older people.
A tactful person also takes into account such moments: what in relation to some people looks like a manifestation of friendly feelings and disposition, to others - as a manifestation of bad manners, unjustified rudeness and tactlessness. So this point should also be taken into account. For example, what you say to your good acquaintance or friend is not always possible to say to unfamiliar people or elders. And if, during a lively conversation, one of the interlocutors playfully slaps his friend on the shoulder, this will not at all be considered such a serious violation of the rules of cultural behavior. But such behavior towards people unfamiliar or unfamiliar, different in position, age and gender, is not only tactless, but also unacceptable.
A tactful person will not look closely and frankly at another. It would seem that there can be a bad thing when people look at each other. But to look does not mean to look unceremoniously. Idle curiosity should not take place especially in relation to persons with some kind of physical disabilities. It should be remembered that excessive attention to their appearance can never be pleasant for them, but, on the contrary, is always painfully perceived by them.
A tactful person will not look at his watch all the time when someone comes to him. If he is in a hurry, he does not have time for a meeting, he will apologize, say this and take care to transfer it to another, more convenient time.
Tactful people will never embarrass others with a deliberately provocative question or a hint of something that the interlocutor is unpleasant to hear, remember, or talk about. In addition, they will not notice someone else's unintentional and accidental slip of the tongue, as well as awkwardness. Equitable punishment requires respect for human dignity. That is why remarks are not made in a rude form, especially with a mockery or mockery. And after punishment, only tactless people remind a person of his guilt. It is to such a person that the essence of the proverb is close and understandable: "Do not do to another what you do not wish for yourself."
A tactful person will not ask questions that are related to the intimate side of the life of another and will not interfere in his personal life without special need. He will not brag about his official position or material well-being in front of those who are less wealthy and occupy a lower official position, emphasize their mental or physical superiority. Under all circumstances, it is not good to emphasize some of your advantages, something that others do not have.
The main commandment of good manners remains in force - to think, first of all, about the convenience of others, and then about your own.
Modesty.
A modest person never seeks to show himself better, more capable, smarter than others, does not emphasize his superiority, his qualities, does not require any privileges, special amenities, services for himself.
At the same time, modesty should not be associated with either shyness or shyness. These are completely different categories. Very often, modest people turn out to be much harder and more active in critical circumstances, but at the same time it is known that it is impossible to convince them of their rightness by argument.
D. Carnegie writes: “You can make a person understand that he is wrong, with a look, intonation or gesture no less eloquently than with words, but if you tell him that he is wrong, then will you force him to agree with you ? Never! For you have dealt a direct blow to his intellect, his common sense, his pride and self-esteem. This will only make him want to strike back, but not at all change his mind. "
D. Carnegie considers the following as one of the golden rules: "People should be taught as if you had not taught them. And unfamiliar things should be presented as forgotten." Calmness, diplomacy, deep understanding of the interlocutor's argumentation, well-thought-out counterargumentation based on exact facts - this is the solution to this contradiction between the requirements of "good taste" in discussions and firmness in defending one's opinion.

Delicacy and correctness.
Delicacy is very close to tact. If tact should be observed in all cases, then delicacy presupposes a situation that has in mind people who are familiar and, moreover, worthy of respect. It is inappropriate in relation to a person who has committed an unworthy act, and is not always possible in relation to strangers or unfamiliar people. This is the ability to come to the aid of a person who needs support and understanding on time and imperceptibly, the ability to protect him from prying eyes, interference in the agitated state of his soul. And if we notice that a familiar person is upset or upset about something, it is far from always necessary to contact him with questions, especially with jokes. Still, it is better to wait, maybe he will turn to us and ask for advice, share his experiences. In other cases, it is worth diverting the attention of others from him so that they do not notice his tears and an upset look. And if we feel that our presence weighs on him, that he is not up to us, it is best to leave him alone.
And there is also one concept that is close to tact - correctness. This is the ability to control oneself, to keep oneself within the framework of generally accepted decency in all situations. Of course, it should be borne in mind that a person's behavior largely depends on the state of his nervous system, character, temperament.
Anyone can find themselves in some kind of conflict situation at home and at work, in public life. And often it is correctness that will help him get out of any situation with dignity. Life situations show how a person loses in many ways if he fails to pull himself together in time, to refrain from anger, which often leads to rash actions, belated remorse and shame.
Man needs correctness. Whoever he is and wherever he works, the ability to control himself, endurance and politeness will create him strong authority and respect from others. At work, she helps to eliminate what interferes with the interests of the grandfather, in personal relationships it promotes mutual understanding between people, helps to maintain dignity. By the way, dignity is one of the personal qualities of a person, which also takes its place in the culture of human behavior.

Over the centuries, many observant people have noted a pattern: the more meaningful a person is, the more modest and easier a person is.
Such qualities as politeness, tact, delicacy, correctness, commitment, modesty, a person must educate in himself and others in order to make communication with others healthy and beautiful, to keep nerves, time and peace of mind. Compliance with the rules of etiquette helps to create that good moral atmosphere in which people live well, breathe easily and work.

3. Types of etiquette
There are several types of etiquette, the main of which are:

    court etiquette - a strictly regulated procedure and forms of treatment established at the courts of monarchs;
    diplomatic etiquette - the rules of conduct for diplomats and other officials during contacts with each other at various diplomatic receptions, visits, negotiations;
    military etiquette - a set of rules, norms and manners of behavior generally accepted in the army for servicemen in all spheres of their activity;
    general civil etiquette - a set of rules, traditions and conventions followed by citizens when communicating with each other.
Most of the rules of diplomatic, military and general civil etiquette to one degree or another coincide. The difference between them is that diplomats attach more importance to the observance of the rules of etiquette, since deviation from them or violation of these rules can damage the prestige of the country or its official representatives and lead to complications in relations between states.
Etiquette can also be conditionally divided into situational and professional, secular and business, although it is often impossible to draw clear boundaries between them, since the rules of various sections of etiquette are repeated, include the rules of other sections (sometimes slightly changed), proceed from the basic norms of behavior.
    Speech etiquette
    Table etiquette
    Wedding etiquette
    Funeral etiquette
    Weekend etiquette (theater, concert, etc.)
    Diplomatic etiquette
    Professional etiquette (military, medical, legal, etc.)
    Religious etiquette
    Service etiquette
    Telephone etiquette
SPEECH ETIQUETTE is a set of requirements adopted in a given culture for the form, content, order, character and situational relevance of statements. The well-known researcher of speech etiquette NI Formanovskaya gives the following definition: "Speech etiquette is understood as the regulating rules of speech behavior, a system of nationally specific stereotyped, stable communication formulas, adopted and prescribed by society for establishing contact between interlocutors, maintaining and interrupting contact in the chosen tone." Speech etiquette, in particular, includes words and expressions used by people for farewell, requests, apologies, forms of address adopted in various situations, intonation features that characterize polite speech, etc. The study of speech etiquette occupies a special position at the intersection of linguistics, theory and history of culture, ethnography, regional studies, psychology and other humanitarian disciplines.
Speech etiquette in the narrow sense of the word can be characterized as a system of linguistic means in which etiquette relations are manifested. Elements of this system can be implemented at different language levels:
    at the level of vocabulary and phraseology: special words and fixed expressions (Thank you, Please, I beg your pardon, Sorry, Goodbye, etc.), and specialized forms treatment (Master, Comrade, etc.).
    at the grammatical level: using plurals for polite use (including the pronoun you); using interrogative sentences instead of imperative ones (you will not tell what time it is? Could you move a little? etc.).
    at the stylistic level: the requirement for a competent, cultured speech; refusal to use words that directly name obscene and shocking objects and phenomena.
    at the intonation level: the use of polite intonation (for example, the phrase "Be kind, close the door" can sound with different intonations, depending on whether it implies a polite request or an unceremonious demand).
    at the orthoepy level: using Hello instead of Hello, Please instead of Pozhalst, etc.
    at the organizational and communicative level: a prohibition to interrupt the interlocutor, interfere in someone else's conversation, etc.
Thus, speech etiquette is not a rigid system of rules; it is sufficiently plastic, and this plasticity creates a rather extensive "room for maneuver"

DINING ETIQUETTE is a whole science. All the norms and rules of behavior at the table have been developed by many generations and, at their core, have, first of all, common sense, as well as the rules of hygiene, a humane attitude towards people, etc. By the way a person holds the table, how he eats, one can judge his cultural level. Without following the rules of conduct at the table, without good manners it is difficult to succeed in society. And, since receptions are an integral part of business life, modern business schools, colleges and other educational institutions teach future businessmen to behave correctly at the table, to be polite and considerate towards neighbors, to eat not only beautifully, but also “safe” for others.
WEDDING EQUIPMENT is a very essential part of the entire wedding process. And in order not to seem impolite and impolite, each person needs to know at least the main points of wedding etiquette.
Wedding etiquette isn't just about rules of conduct
at the wedding , but the entire period from engagement and wedding planning to honeymoon. It should be observed not only by the bride and groom, but also by all participants in the wedding ceremony.
The well-established rules of wedding etiquette took shape at the beginning of the nineteenth century in Europe. At that time, the newlyweds and guests knew etiquette very well and strictly observed all the rules of decency.
Wedding etiquette implies certain responsibilities for each participant in the wedding action. This primarily concerns the groom, the bride and their parents. After all, they need to distribute all the costs of organizing the wedding, solve the main issues, usually they are resolved during the engagement. Also, a very important point in wedding etiquette is taking into account family and national traditions.
Guest etiquette includes things like choosing the right outfit for your wedding, buying a particular gift or giving money to the newlyweds, politely declining if you are unable to attend, etc.
FUNERAL ETIQUETTE imposes certain duties, first of all, on the relatives of the deceased. If the deceased before his death expressed any wishes about his funeral, then, according to ethical tradition, they should certainly be fulfilled. Close relatives and friends are informed of the death in person or by telegram. Relatives should notify work colleagues in advance if a funeral will be organized with wide range people or just relatives. If the organizers of the funeral expressed a wish to see only close relatives at the burial ceremony, then it is appropriate for colleagues at work to send a letter or a postcard with words of condolence to the relatives of the deceased.
etc.................

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